December 2008
3 posts
The Pogues
Last night at 3 AM, as the last Club Sandwich ended with a sing-a-long to “Fairytale of New York,” I felt sad about leaving for the first time.
Papers
Fuck ‘em. I’ve lost the will to edit them, only to turn them in. All I need to do is pass for me to get credit. I’m pretty sure I can do that, so I give up.
Home, Home, Home
I am coming home in 12 days. It is a weird feeling.
November 2008
3 posts
Election night (a rough chronology)
9:00: Friends and I arrive at the Student Union bar, commence drinking.
9:something: We start doing the pub quiz, which is American-themed. There is no real way anyone else is winning this; the first category is American Presidents, and shows pictures of old presidents. I think I write all the answers down in 45 seconds. (We end up winning in a landslide; the prize is a case of Budweiser,...
FUCK
Someone is stealing our food, again. I’ve had four items go missing in the last week, and it’s not anyone in the flat.
This means someone is breaking into our flat every night and taking shit. This cannot stand. I am going to buy rat poison, taint my food with it, and the next time it goes missing, that person will die.
Shit is real!
Well, of course
Me: Are there any new Housestaff [work-study job I have] relationships?
Danny: Yes.
Me: Oh??
Danny: Me and...
Danny: I'm trying to think of the most attractive girl.
Danny: I'm having trouble.
My friend on a creepy guy who hit on her at...
Friend: anyway, he was wearing a rabbit costume. and was like "do i look innocent? are you innocent?"
Friend: and i was like "uh, i dunno, not really" and then he asked me where i was from. i said chicago, and he goes "they invented improv!" and started kissing my neck
October 2008
15 posts
Nov. 4
The Student Union is holding an America-themed pub quiz, during which live coverage of the election will be shown. It will run from 8 PM to 4 AM, drinks are a pound each, and they’ll be serving “American food.”
Translation: We are all going to be piles of drunk come dawn, especially if Obama wins.
Tuesday
Henceforth shall be known as “Don’t Shower Before Class” Day.
British girls
Do not understand American rap. I just had 3 6 Mafia and Biggie dismissed as “shit” by two of my flatmates, both of whom I will clearly no longer speak to…ever.
I mean, “Juicy.” Come on, now. Real talk.
Red Light District
Never have I ever seen so many trannies in one place.
Amsterdam
Is so nice. Even if you’re not into the drugs or sex, it’s a beautiful, beautiful city. And the bike capital of the universe.
No Limit!
The British kids I live with know who Master P is. Thank the lord.
Socks
My socks didn’t dry properly. Now they smell like peanut butter and dry white rice. Why is this?
Uh-oh
I met a guy in class. He asked me if I was American. I said yes. I could have sworn he sneered. Or maybe it was a cocky grin. Or maybe something.
Lazy days
When I don’t have class, I wake up at 1 and wait for my day to unroll however it does, so far.
Good living, man.
Grand Theft Kitchen
Someone unknown fiend is stealing utensils and plates and shit from our kitchen. I’m missing a glass. One flatmate is missing a plate. One is missing some knives and forks and shit. It’s heinous.
I only have one of everything. When someone takes that one something, I AM PERMANENTLY DEPRIVED. I hope the culprit turns up soon, so I can punch him in the mouth.
Laundry
Serious question: Do laundry, or turn underwear inside-out like Clayton?
Alright, on second thought…
VP debate
Playing a drinking game to the VP debate at 2 AM is a good way to wake up all of your neighbors every time Sarah Palin says something stupid (which was less than expected, but still prevalent).
Dover Street Market
Matthew and I went to this fancy five-story clothing store in central London where the cheapest thing cost more than my entire wardrobe. I felt like one of those country people who comes into the city and says things like, “WOW, LOOK AT THAT LIMOUSINE!” and “BOY, HOW CAN A CAN OF SODA COST THAT MUCH?” because I kept on gawking at everything.
September 2008
24 posts
Buckingham Palace
Goofy guard photo #2 = a failure
But I will procure it before my trip is over. This I promise.
Books
Going to a used bookstore in central London = a good way to save twenty pounds, or $40. I’m not going to be able to take many, if any of these books home, so if I can’t sell them, it’ll just be money for nothing. So I’m trying hard, real hard, to save the monies.
The tube
I am the master of the tube. Even though I needed a big awkward map in my hand at all times to do it.
“Am I that girl? No, guys. I’m not that girl. I’m not that drunk. ...”
– A quite drunk Kat Power
Horrible implications of the previous post
As Emmy pointed out, she was going to make fun of me for paying for friends. However, that’s how it works over here. Well, to be more accurate: to join any society/club, you have to pay a fee, ranging from one to ten pounds. While that sounds extravagant, it pays for upkeep/weeds out the jerks who just sign up for everything to get free shit (like me), and so forth. And seeing as how I...
Student fair
Joining arts magazine: five pounds
Hanging out with British hipsters: priceless
“Yo, that bitch is fat.”
– Matthew Alfonso about some British hipster girl following a night of boozin’
Discussing my ballin' schedule
Emmy: YOU. ARE. LONDON.
Me: I. AM. LONDON.
My schedule
In the holy shits of all holy shits:
Monday
12-1: The Victorians 2-3: The Victorians seminar 4-6: Cities of Modernities
Tuesday
10-11: Shakespeare 11-12: World Politics 12-1: Shakespeare seminar 2-3: World Politics seminar
Uhhhhhhhh, do you know what this means?
FIVE DAY WEEKEND!!!
Pub quiz!
The pub quiz is an English phenomenom; teams of 6 answer questions given out by a moderator. Tonight was dry, but apparently, Russell Brand might be a host in the future. He’s the shit over here, so we’ll see.
Shower
I have my own shower, which is nice. However, when the fan is turned on, the shower curtain is blown towards me. That means I am frequently peeling the wet curtain off my body while trying to escape the claustrophobic feeling that I’m being covered in gauze.
The bus
The buses here are way more harrowing than the CTA inasmuch as each stop holds about three thousand buses that come through; at each station we got to, we had to crane our heads and look through the dozen or so numbers to see if our route was serviced. There are maps, which is nice; in Chicago, if you don’t know where you’re going, you are in trouble. Here, it is slightly more...
“I can’t take this shit much longer, man.”
– My ass, after a night of sleeping on the paper-like sheets provided to us by Arcadia University.
College music
First iTunes network I connected to had every DMB album on it.
Now I really feel like I’m at home!
Tearin' up my heart
Nothing is worse than a dead dance floor, so I’m proud to say that the Americans stepped up and killed that bitch last night and got everyone else to join the party, or so I’d like to believe (it was probably because people are generally drunker at 10pm than they are at 8pm). But shit was kill3d.
Dorm
The dorms here are 100x nicer than the Northwestern hell holes. I have my own bathroom & shower (!!!) and tons of drawer and shelf space. The only drag is having to bring your own kitchen equipment, of which I have none, and the typical price of a pot or a pan is between seven and fifteen pounds. Yikes!
So I’m ganking my suitemates’ stuff with the agreement that I’ll...
British teenagers
Are worse than American teenagers at being preppy. Kanye shades and Abercrombie shirts were seen everywhere today in Guildford.
3rd night of this Homestay
To be spent indoors, again? If we don’t eat before the sun goes down, then possibly. I can’t handle another night of Internetting it, even though there could be worse situations.
Words I have starting using, by accident
Mad e.g. “You’re mad!”
Cross e.g. “I’m quite cross with you!”
Oh myyyyyyyy.
Crossing the goddamn street
I know what we’re not supposed to judge. Everything is different here, not better or worse.
But British crossways make it difficult to jaywalk properly. I know that’s the point. But I like jaywalking. What’s wrong with that?
I did almost get hit by a motorcycle yesterday though, so maybe I just answered that.
We Will Rock You
Who do English people love more: The queen, or Queen? I do not know.
Constant suckage on both sides:
Taxi cabs still don’t have any pride about maintaining their brakes, meaning there’s tons of squealing everywhere you go. Fantastic!
Things I Have Done in London So Far
Gotten legally drunk: No
Ridden the tube: No
Had fish and chips: No
Vomited on London sidewalk: Yes
FLU, YOU ARE AWESOME